Nearly two weeks ago, while my daughter was still in hospital, I wrote a post about her birth and my experience of it as a lesbian non-birth mother. That post was read by far more people than I expected, and I’m still replying to people who’re responding to it. I wrote it because I had […]
For Heterosexual couples to have children can be a choice that is (in most cases) one’s own…being able to create a human being can be a gift taken for granted. For homosexual couples to want to have a child, can be a process that takes time, money, and research.
This couple posted their story to inform the world, “it’s okay, let’s talk.” Why not talk about it? Jeanne mentioned how she appreciated someone approaching them about their brand new baby, wanting to socialize and even ask questions.
Their story portrays how families can be made of all kinds, and are like any other. Although Jeanne is not the “birth-mother” she is still legally a mother within this family, and loves this child as any parent would. How is this any different from having a loving step-mother or father who has raised a child?
There is an article called, New choices, New Families by Nancy Mezey. She has been researching how lesbians choose to become parents in their lives and has found four factors. “Their experiences as children, how they interpret their own mothers’ lives, their early experiences with child care, and their experiences of racial or gender discrimination” (47).
The funny part about this research, is that it does not have to stand alone with homosexuality, this applies to everyone. How many of us have had many siblings to take care of growing up, and have decided being a mother would be hard? What about having no siblings at all, but your mother was there for you and inspired you, was your best friend? People make their path based on their own experiences in life.
Therefore, my message is this. For two people to want to have a child and can’t have one the natural way…going through processes of adoption, surrogacy, or sperm donation…These people want a child more than most!
Mezey, Nancy J. New Choices, New Families. Johns Hopkins University Press, 2008.